Kevin McGroarty:
The man behind the self-written obituary that went viral
Jul 28th 2014 10:59AM Kevin McGoarty's friends say he was the life of the party -- and in death, he's managed to amuse thousands of strangers, too.  "Kevin was fun. Everything about him was fun," said Juanita Krieger, a friend of McGroarty's.
Mcgroarty died at his home in West Pittston on Tuesday.
His death has people talking mostly because McGroarty wrote his own obituary ... starting with the line, "McGroarty achieves room temperature!" "Online comments on the obituary and people saying I wish I knew this guy. I'm sorry for anybody who didn't. Because to know him was to really to love him," said Krieger.
McGroarty's witty obituary has gone viral.
Brian Langan knew McGroarty since Kindergarten and he has a lifetime of memories to share.
"With his passing I'm very sad but I'm also preoccupied mainly with how every body else is getting to know him. And I'm also kind of scared, I'm thinking he's gone, I know all these stories and he's the only one that could back them up," said Langan.
Obituary
Kevin J. McGroarty | Visit Guest Book
 WEST PITTSTON —
McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature!
Kevin J. McGroarty, 53, of West Pittston, died Tuesday, July 22, 2014, after battling a long fight with mediocracy.
Born 1960 in the Nesbitt Hospital, he was the bouncing baby boy of the late Lt. Col. Edward M. McGroarty and Helen Jane (Hudson) McGroarty, whom the New York Times should have noted as extraordinary parents.
He was baptized at St. Cecilia Church, Exeter, which later burned to the ground, attended Butler Street Elementary, which was later torn down, and middle school at 6th Street in Wyoming, now an apartment building.
He enjoyed elaborate practical jokes, over-tipping in restaurants, sushi and Marx Brother's movies. He led a crusade to promote area midget wrestling, and in his youth was noted for his many unsanctioned daredevil stunts.
He was preceded in death by brother, Airborne Ranger Lt. Michael F. McGroarty, and many beloved pets, Chainsaw, an English Mastiff in Spring 2009, Baron, an Irish Setter in August 1982, Peter Max, a turtle, Summer 1968; along with numerous house flies and bees, but they were only acquaintances.
McGroarty leaves behind no children (that he knows of), but if he did their names would be son, "Almighty Thor" McGroarty; and daughter, "Butter Cup Patchouli."
McGroarty was a veteran of the advertising industry since 1983. McGroarty was a pioneer in Apple computing, purchasing one of the first in the Wyoming Valley in 1985. He would like to remind his friends: "Please, don't email me, I'm dead."
McGroraty was a founding partner of Pyramid Advertising, and finally principal owner of award-winning Rhino Media until 2006. He was also an adjunct instructor at Luzerne County Community College, from 2005-2009.
He will be laid to rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, section 7N. He asks to please make note of his new address. McGroarty's headstone reads: "I'll Be Right Back," one of his favorite sayings. He leaves this world with few regrets, one being told in grade school, his adult life would see the Hershey candy bar rise in cost to over a dollar. He maintained given the resources and initiative, he would rally the good citizens of the Commonwealth to a revolution that would force that price to its original 35-cent market value, a dream he was not able to fulfill, by his own admission the reason: "I was distracted by many beautiful women."
In lieu of flowers, friends are asked to please give generously to the Pennsylvania State Police Troop "P" Camp Cadet Fund.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 10 a.m. Monday in St. Cecilia Church of St. Barbara Parish, 1700 Wyoming Ave., Exeter, following a brief rant of how the government screwed up all of the Bugs Bunny cartoons trying to censor violence. This will be presented by his attorney, Bret Zankel, Esq. Friends may call from 9 to 10 a.m. Monday in the church.
McGroarty leaves behind a thought for all to ponder, given years of gathering wisdom from different religions and deep study of the Greek philosophers: "It costs nothing to be nice" and "Never stick a steak knife in an electrical outlet."
Arrangements by the Metcalfe-Shaver-Kopcza Funeral Home Inc., 504 Wyoming Ave., Wyoming.
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McGroarty doesn't leave behind any children, but he does have a legacy, for instance, a Mona Lisa painting in downtown Pittston and his friends also said, the bigger legacy would be all the stories they have to tell about their friend.
"He just stood up in that bus, "Bus driver slow down! It scares me when the birds fly backwards!" and from then on the whole bus had his attention and he played him like a piano," said Langan.
McGroarty ended his obituary with some smart advice: "It costs nothing to be nice" and "Never stick a steak knife in an electrical outlet."
But his friends don't think that's his last word. "I expected this, I expected more and I'm still not sure if there's not more to pop up, I really wouldn't be surprised at all," said Langan.
Friends will say goodbye to McGroarty Monday morning at 10 am at the St Cecilia Church in Exeter.
According to McGoraty's obituary, that's following a brief rant of how the government screwed up all of the bugs bunny cartoons trying to censor violence. From Times Reader.com and AOL.com |
Birth, Death, Life, and Orbituary
Maybe, we all should write our own orbituaries.
It makes sense because there are no one who can do it better than myself.
I know exactly (and correctly) how I lived
and know exactly how I like to be remembered.
Almost of all orbituaries in the newpaper are written in some cook-book style formulas.
They all look alike in a standard format and there are hardly anything about the dead person himself.
Kevin's own orbituary shows light-hearted, pleasant, and funny memories
and shows no regrets, sadness, or seriousness about ending his life.
(Note: To make this essay understandable, Kevin is the guy who wrote his own orbituary.)
I guess this is the way to go.
After all, dying is a very natural process for a life.
By the way, I found out that the "Wyoming" Kevin mentioned is a town of Wyoming in Pittston area
in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. He wasn't talking about the state of Wyoming.
Also, the "Nesbitt Hospital" is in Kingston in Wyoming Valley in PA.
That means Kevin died in the same valley where he was born.
Thinking about myself, knowing that I will most likely die, after endless wandering,
many many thousands miles away from where I was born,
I wondered if Kevin was a lucky guy to die where he was born.
Or, as a world-wide wanderer, am I a luckier guy than he is ??
Talking about crazy wandering, now I am writing this piece in California near the Pacific Ocean.
Soon in about two weeks, I will be writing in Colorado in the foothills of the Rockies.
Yes, over there, there is another set of a computer and monitor.