Oh, yes, buddy 김재익, 김재익! I still can’t finish to call his name without the tears welling out shamelessly even after these many years!!! How can I forget the day he had such 개죽엄 for 개새끼 전두환!  This tragedy was informed by my high school buddy, 정근모 - he was one of few 재익 recruited back to Korea from the States -, who called me from Beijing to share this news. I was simply frozen! My brain completely stopped functioning! Simply I felt numb, no more no less! Through my 40-year long career, I for the first time closed the office and cancelled surgery for one full week before I get back to work.

김재익 went to same high school with me but he took 고시 to get to 문리대 one year ahead of us so that I didn’t know him well till I get to the Premed School/문리대 and saw this tall cranky guy with one small cute girl, 이순자, dating so visibly to become a talking point among 문리대 students. But soon after I started the date with my wife who was at 문리대 영문과, I found 순자 at 불문과 was the best friend to my wife through same high school and my wife was 대모/god mother to 순자. So, for the first time I got to know 재익 closely through double dates and 재익 became my life time friend of all - he persuaded me to become a Catholic and he was also my 대부/god father and the best man for our wedding- a week later my wife became the best woman to their wedding -.

재익 is such cool-headed guy, involved to quite a few critical moments on my life to help me to make proper decisions with such logical approach no one ever did to me. Indeed, when SNUH and Medical School rushed(?) to arrange my Government/SNU-sponsored official trip to Richmond for two years back in 1968, to compensate their political decision to waive/call off the decision by China Medical Board to choose me to be sent to the U.S. and send one senior staff instead, I almost decided to follow the recommendation by Profs. 한용철 and 민병철 to go the U.S. alone leaving the family- my wife and two young daughters- back home/Korea to concentrate to the study.

재익with 순자, who was at Stanford, Palo Alto, then to study for his PhD wrote me a long letter saying I don’t seem to know what the life with family should mean and insisted to come to the States with my own core family, wife and children, regardless. It was an awakening call to open my eyes and despite displeasure by my father, I took his words taking my family with me to come to the U.S. and dared to root down to this new world with no hesitation, thanking to 재익.

Indeed, I recall 재익 came to San Francisco Airport with his ooooold Ford car to pick up our family to spend the first night in the U.S. at his house and he spent full three days to giving me an instruction on how to start a new American life like the need to open the bank account, etc -I still keep his hand written notes–. And it was the beginning of my mentoring to him whenever I should make any difficult decision through years till he made a decision to go back to Korea after he got the PhD to serve/work at the 한국은행 which sent him to the U.S., to pay back what he owed.

순자 was quite unhappy with the condition 재익 encountered at the bank and shared our view to come back to the States to contribute more and we chose the secret sign between us, saying ‘we are ready for the trip to Yellowstone N.P.’ when they decide to come back to the State.

Alas, it never happened and 재익 took the new job at 청와대 soon, tutoring stone head 전두환 and ---------- October 9, 1983!!!!!!!!  How the hell it could happen?

재익  was such meticulous person to give me right advices on right moments till he was killed at Rangoon, like whether I should refuse to come back to SNUH in 1970 after 2-year fellowship of transplant surgery and resign from SNU to continue to seek for the vascular surgery training through Med Coll Va.  He further advised me NOT to accept the invitation from YonSei Univ although YonSei offered much better condition than SNUH (YonSei U offered the position for the associate professor while SNU insisted me to start from the position of instructor where I left in 1968 to humiliate/irk me!) and advised me to remain in the State till the condition in Korea fits better and take the job to start at Georgetown Univ instead.

If he would have lived through, I would have returned to Korea perhaps permanently to enjoy the friendship I miss most. But my sorrow to his death was turned to become my wrath to Korea with ever mounting hatred to Koreans breaking my heart- I didn’t cry when my mother and father passed away but I cried and cried shamelessly when 재익 was killed.

I am sure he is in heaven with no doubt, I miss him dearly!

중행, you made me cry!

BB Lee

P.S. After 재익 died, we insisted 순자 to come to Washington DC to live/stay with us- I volunteered to become the legal guardian for their two sons, 한회 and 승회 till they grow up to become adults - and prepared two identical birthday presents every year, one for her and another for my wife since her birthday is same as my wife’s. After she went back to Seoul, she comes to Washington almost every year to talk all day and all night and we will till we all leave this world.

  Wow! What a story of friendship!

  그 사람을 가졌는가?----함석헌

       만리 길 나서는 길
       처자를 내맡기며
       맘놓고 갈만한 사람
       그 사람을 그대는 가졌는가

       온 세상 다 나를 버려
       마음이 외로울 때에도
      ´저 맘이야´ 하고 믿어지는
       그 사람을 그대는 가졌는가-----=