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Essay 우리들의 노년을 맞이하고 보내면서
2018.10.14 06:49
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우리들의 노년을 맞이하고 보내면서...
올해는 끝도 없이 저에게는 소중한 사람들이 떠나 가네요. Please forgive me, I can write in English much faster, though not good in any means. This year, there were multiple sorrowful events occurred to me.
This April, I lost one of my close friends with pancreatic cancer. He was my roommate in the year 1966-67 in Bronx, NY.
Then, in this past August, My close classmate (Dr. Tae-Hae Kwon) passed away. He had a non-small cell lung cancer. Both of them intimately shared their and their families' lives with us for many decades.
Unexpectedly, last week, my brother passed away, collapsed in front of his place waiting for an ambulance. He was 89-year-old. He was a very humble person but had worked hard all his life for the peace in the Korean peninsula. He thought that the process or negotiations for peace in the Korean Peninsula should not be weighed and directed by big powers, the U.S., China, Japan, and Russia. He was an ardent nationalist, believing that we should try to solve our problems by ourselves, diluting out as much as possible, the interferences and interests of other foreign powers. He has been my big brother since I was a little kid.
I just got back to NY and had a long undisturbed sleep. Acutely, fresh again, I realize who I am, and where I am going. Rest of my life left, I will try to connect our lives, mine and others close to me, and celebrate our lives.
Here, a story goes.
When I moved from NY to Chicago in 1980, 구경회 was leading an organization helping the Korean seniors in Chicago Area (노인 복지회). 김길중 was helping him in this endeavor and I joined them a few years later. By the time I left Chicago, this organization had grown with its annual budget exceeding several million dollars. It has had various programs for the seniors, English class, paintings and calligraphy, securing their health insurances, medical care, applying for their U.S. citizenship, various social supports, a daily lunch program at the site or at home.
The latter program, chore services at home have included cleaning, cooking, getting groceries, accompanying seniors to clinics, and so on, helping the elders in their daily lives where they live.
In the late 1990s, I thought we could write a grant for documenting the lives of our Korean seniors born in the 1910s to 1930s. They migrated to Chicago area, mostly following their sons and daughters. Some were supported by their children. But some were abandoned by them. Personal stories of these seniors could possibly extend to the late 19th century in Korea since they might have many memories or stories of their parents.
I thought it would be a big loss to see them passing away without documenting their lives. Well, the need for immediate care for them made this project sort of a fancy one and not practical. We did not pursue any further.
Now, we are in their ages, almost near to the age of 80. 임현재 says, “We are blessed more than any other previous Korean generations. We were born and lived in a turbulent time in Korea, the liberation of Korea in 1945, establishing a government in South in 1948, Korean War, 1950-1953, and military coup d’états in 1961. We survived and came to the U.S. Most of us in the U.S. have done pretty well as 임현재 said. Our classmates in Korea have done as good or better. Our lives are closely interwoven with the historic stage of social and economic transition.
After retirement, 구경회 felt, and I felt likewise; “Is this the end of my life, becoming less productive, less meaningful to others, and waiting for my last breath? What could we do?” By the way, 구경회 is still active, involving himself in many worthy activities.
As for me, I began to write a brief note on my birth, my parents, my early life, and so on. For my kids and grandkids, they may find it helpful for understanding their identity and heritage. Could we extend this idea among ourselves and share them among us?
One may prepare and share one's story in a few pages or many more. I am the one anxious for knowing you better, thus to understand my life better. If you are willing, we can archive the result of this effort in our group website, accessible to any classmates, to our kids and to grandkids.
Or if any one of us willing (e.g., 오세윤, 심웅석, 김성수, 이한중, any more of us), one can edit and produce a little book. Could we have this book sooner before many of us may pass away? At worst for our 60th reunion in 2025 for those still around?
Some of us may feel that it may be a bad idea invading the privacy of individuals, poking into their lives. But it would be a history of us, some in Korea and some in the U.S. over almost a century. Hopefully more than few may like to participate in. Thank you for reading this rambling story.
by 이광선 - October 14, 2018 |
Comment 9
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광선형:
It is wonderful to hear from you again. What a great report you did in Tae-Hae’s passing. I thank you for that.
About writing something about us: in fact many months ago 윤충 wrote to me exploring the possibility. 심웅석, 오세윤등 already talked about. I was not quite sure how my classmates in US were going to respond, I told 윤충. Now you brought the idea again and I believe we can do it withyour support. When WM is saying it is a good idea, it is a good idea. Let us do it. 백효
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광선형,
It is so good to hear from you.
Perhaps doing something to give one another a company in our last journey
is better than doing nothing before all of us vanish from the face of planet earth.
Steven's idea of a special board for short stories, etc., may have advantage of being more flexible.
This has to be a purely voluntary endeavor by each classmate rather than a product of some kind of
ego trip because many of us may well prefer to go away quietly and privately.
As 현재형 said, all of us classmates have been blessed in many special ways, and
having you as one of my classmates is one of the big blessings for me especially because
you still care about your old classmates this late in your life and wrote this moving letter to all of us.
Are we blessed bunch of guys or not?
Thank you so much, 광선형.
Remember ? 우리실습팀, 이광선, 이화성, 이한승, 이한중
Bravo 광선!
한중
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황규정*65
2018.10.15 08:32
광선이형!
오랫만이시네요 그리고 이곳에서 이렇게 뵈니 반갑습니다.
지난번 고 태해형때는 형의 신속하고 자세한 병상일지와 장례식
소식에 감사드리며 저나름대로의 태해형대한 작별하는데 도움이
되었습니다. 형의 태해형에대한 가까운 친구로서의 의리와 우정에
감복할 따름입니다.우리동기들의 이야기에대한건은 우리들의 나이들이 이제 우리 인생을
정리할때 이니 전적으로 동감입니다. 좋은 발상이십니다.다만 언제 어디서 어떻게 그리고 얼마나 많은 동기들이 참여 할까가
관건이라 생각되며 형 말씀대로 졸업 60주년을 겨냥하면 아직 시간이
남아 있으니 그동안 중지를 모아야 되겠지요,Mre.Lee께도 안부드려주시고 두분다 건강하시기를 바랍니다. 규정
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황할배: 60주년이면 아직 6-7년은 남았네요.조금 더 빨리, 윤충이가 말한대로 55주년을
목표로 하면 어떯가요? 55주년의 문제는 준비기간이 너무 없기도 하고.
또, 추진을 해야 할지 결정을 할 주체가 누구인지도 결정을 하야하고,
내 생각엔 우리 반 대표가 해야 할것 같은데, 그것도 광선이 형이 먼저 생각을 했으니
또 웹 운영자가 도울 수 있으니 이 두사람이 힘을 합쳐 일을 하도록 동기들의 중론을
반대표가 모았으면 하는 것이 저의 생각인데요.
광선이형: 형의 생각은 어떠한지? 이 웹 으로 말씀 해 주세요.
신백효
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Hi, Docs; Since we have 2-3 people's idea together, we can proceed ahead without asking
any further opinions of others. I consider that we have enough votes already !!
Actually, the votes don't count or matter at all.
The principle of leaving our "written" legacy behind is a good thing and really compelling for sure.
Do you guys have any doubts about it?
Then, what I like to say is: 반장 부반장을 찾고, 중론을 규합하고, 갈길을 정해서, 이구동성 만장일치로
결정할려면 아마 60주년이 올때도 결정이 나지 않을것이요.
그때는 이미 몇놈도 살아 남아있지 않을것입니다.
Please don't go around and keep asking damn ideas, unnecessary opinions, or stupid questions!
You know how our classmates are. Just do it. What else do we need? We got everything all here ready-already.
I will give you an idea of how to do it soon.
If someone wants to follow, we will gladly let them do.
If someone doesn't want to join, that's fine. Let them go and do whatever they want to do.
Didn't I ask anyone when I was about to make this particular website?
No, I didn't. When I realized I could make a website, I went ahead and made it.
Otherwise, this website may not exist even today while waiting for the decisions
of every damn opinion and detail. We simply do not have much time.
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WM, Thank you for your willingness to go ahead with what you proposed.
As you said, I don't see any reason for you to delay what you have in mind,
and you might as well invite any alumni besides our classmates to put on
their life stories.
If some of our classmates here and Korea decide to publish a book instead,
that certainly will be OK as well.
We can have both available to our classmates.
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Dear ’65 Classmates,
윤충 sent me an e-mail commenting on our current topic, a proposal for collecting the stories of our lives, and perhaps also, stories of others who touched our lives. We may be able to make a small publication for our next reunion. And, if our kids, our grandkids, or others thereafter many years after, ever looking for how we lived, it would help them to begin their exploration with this.
Prof. Yun, thank you for your response. I have shown your e-mail below. I am copying your e-mail to the web page for our class. Steven Kim (김성수)has created and maintained our class web site. 윤선생, with a few clicks, you may get to our web site. First, go to http://www.snuma.net. In the upper menu bar, click "Alumni-Freeboard." There, you can go to my proposal, "우리들의 노년을 맞이하고 보내면서" (Item No. 6091). There are many other essays, reports, opinions, and so on.
저의 소견으로는 미국서는 이한중, 김성수, 정길화 동문이 도와 주실지... 임현재 동문이 방대한 사진 자료를 같고 있습니다.
오는 동절에 건강에 유의하시고,
광선
-----------------------------------------------------
From: 윤충 [yunc_42@naver.com]
Sent: Saturday, October 20, 2018 8:52 PM
To: Lee, Kwang-sun [PED]
Subject: 이교수의 글 잘 읽었소
이교수의 제안 잘 읽었소. 실은 작년 연말 우리 동기회 연말 모임에서 저와 오세윤동기가 우리 동기회의 졸업 55주년을 기해서 동기회 차원의 문집을 만들어 보자는 제안을 하였던 바이오. 그런데 각자의 의견이 재미 동기들이 (김성수, 이한중) 글에서 보는 바와 같이 약간의 異見이 있어 구체적으로 진행하지 못하고 있었는데 이교수의 글을 보고
이제 구체적 진행을 할수 있을 것으로 여겨지네요. 나의 의견을 한번 개진해 보겠소이다.
1) 문집완성을 졸업 55 주년을 기념(2020년)하는 것으로 함이 좋을듯 합니다. 졸업60주년을 목표로 하면 너무 오랜기간동안 지체함으로서 앞으로 5-6년동안 많은 동기들이
pass away 할 가능성이 많을것 같고 또한 나이가 자꾸 많아 짐으로 인하여 참여성의가 훨씬 줄어들 가능성이 많을 것으로 여겨집니다. 한살이라도 나이가 덜 먹었을때 함이 좋지 않을가 여겨집니다.
2) 동기회 차원에서 이 계획을 진행함이 좋을것 같슴니다. 그렇게 함으로서 한사람이라도 더 참여할 의무와 의욕이 가미될것으로 생각됨니다, 또 출판 경비도 훨씬 용이할 것으로 여겨집니다. 현제 우리동기회에는 상당액의 동기회비가 적립되어 있음으로 그중 일부를 활애함은 결코 어렵지 않을 것입니다( 출판경비 약 700만원 정도)
3) 기고할 원고는 각자 자유의지를 충분히 존중하여 주제를 자기의 학문적 업적, 사회적 공헌 내용, 자신의 자서전적 회고론적 기술, 문학적 작품(시, 소설, 수필 등등), 혹은 정치적 소견을 제외한 철학적, 교육적 내용의 서술. 등등으로 자유롭게 정해서 원고를 제출하도록 하면 될 것입니다..
4) 참여 여부는 완전히 자유의지를 유지하며 절대 강요는 있을수 없으며 privacy침해는 있을수 없고 자신들에게 맡긴다.
15회 선배님들의 예를 보면 졸업 55 주년 문집 발간엔 처음엔 반대도 많았으나 실제는 원고의 폭주로 인하여 나중에 편집진에서 원고 정리에 매우 고생했다고 합디다. 일정량 이상의 원고 게재를 원할 경우 자기 부담금을 물릴 정도였다고 합니다.
5) 한국과 미국에 각각 문집발간 위원회를 각각 3인으로 정하고 서로 수시로 교통하여 진행하면 될 것으로 압니다.
한국에는 오세윤, 심웅석 동문이 문인으로 이 업무를 수행할 인물이 있습니다. 미국의 상대가 정해지면 오세윤동문에 연락 주시면 되겠습니다
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Dear Friends of 65 Class,
In my humble opinion, if we do want to publish a book,
our classmates back home in Korea need to initiate the effort
as 윤충형 outlined and finish the project.
Classmates in USA who want to participate in may do so
by directly communicating with those in charge in Korea,
including payment of the expense relating to the publication.
If there is any kind of help the editors in Korea need from
the classmates in USA such as contacting and notifying, etc,
our class president here, 정길화형, will do so, I believe.
Please accept my apology for my belated comment.
I recently made a permanent move from Michigan to California.
Wishing all of you all the bests,
이한중 배
Doc, Long time No see...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Also, thank you for the news that I didn't know well before.
Your idea is a good one that we've been talking about for a while.
Hoping that we can share our stories on our website, and if we can accumulate enough
to put together to create a book, we certainly could publish one.
I had an experience in my high school website where we created one special board
exclusively for short stories on each of our past. We can do the same here.
I guess we need a starting point and see how it will work out.
Hoping that it can really happen between us...