Last summer I found out I have cancer.
It has spread from colon to my liver ......
I'm 47, married,
The docs give me perhaps a few years with chemo.
..... I have borne this news with amazingly good spirits.
.....But with small law practice now closed, and the chemo
often keeping me chained to the house because of fatigue,
I haven't completely avoided self-reflection.

Why am I not depressed?
What I have come up with is golf.
My freedom from self-pity, rage and a host of other unhappy
reactions to this devastating development is owed to
a principle learned through years of bad shots, bad bounces
and bad lies.
Namely, wasting your energy fuming against what is already done is counterproductive. Focusing only on the things you can control, like the next shot, is always the best approach.

I came to golf somewhat late in life.
I was 27, fresh out of law school, and ......
... When I began to play on a regular basis,
like many novices, I would react badly to poor shots and
unfortunate rubs of the green.
It took a few seasons, but eventually I became adept
at shaking off anything negative.

My method was simple:
I'd force myself to laugh each time something bad happened.
I put a lot of effort into becoming a better golfer,
which is different from just trying to hit the ball better.
I focused on keeping a cooler head and making sound decisions.
Eventually I got down to a 5-handicap and was competing
tournaments.

So now I'm dealing with my cancer in the same way.
It's a really crappy lie.
OK, it's deep in the trees on a root with no look at the
green and a restricted back swing, but I know
the more attention I pay to hitting the next shot,
the better the rest of my round, my life, will be.

I still laugh a lot every day....
I've already had one surgery and will be on chemo
the rest of my life, however long that is.
I've had to confront the knowledge that my wife
of 20 years and I will not grow old together.
On the bright side, I likely won't have to worry about
the new goove rule.
But thanks to the lesson I learned from golf,
I'm looking forward to hitting my next shot, and
every shot I have left, as well as I can.
And who knows, maybe I'll even pull off
that impossible shot.