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General The Story Of A Challenged Senior

2010.01.14 07:08

이한중*65 Views:3795

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    The Story Of A Challenged Senior


    I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800
     employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took
     videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and
    Twitter.

     I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so
     my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand
    kids could communicate with me in the modern way.

    I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
    That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
     Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and
    Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends
     every message to my cell phone and every other program
     within the texting world.

     My phone was beeping every three minutes with the
     details of everything except the bowel movements of the
     entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I
     keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

     The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because
     they say I get lost every now and then going over to the
     grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool
     bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed
     to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line
     at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the
     nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my
     hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

     I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
     but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I
     had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
     sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would
     think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely
     tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell
     me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would
     make a right turn instead, it was not good.

     When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell
     her the name of the cross
     streets and while she is starting to develop the same
     tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

     To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how
     to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them
     for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can
     lose three phones all at once and have run around digging
     under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty
     laundry baskets when the phone rings.

     The world is just getting too complex for me. They
     even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You
     would think they could settle on something themselves but
     this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check
     out just knocks me for a loop.

     I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid
     looking confused but I never remember to take them in with
     me.
     Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me,
     "Paper or Plastic?"
    I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am
     bi-sacksual.." Then it's their turn to stare at me
     with a blank look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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