2012.11.28 05:04
'Bitterly' Disappointed Dad's Email to Children Goes Viral By Christina Ng | ABC News Blogs – 19 hrs ago A retired British naval officer's scathing email to his three adult children about his bitter and frustrating disappointment in all of them has gone viral with its eloquence and biting honesty. "We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren," Crews wrote. "I wonder if you realise [sic] how we feel - we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us." "Fulfilling careers based on your educations would have helped - but as yet none of you is what I would confidently term properly self-supporting," he continued. "Each of you is well able to earn a comfortable living and provide for your children, yet each of you has contrived to avoid even moderate achievement. Far from your children being able to rely on your provision, they are faced with needing to survive their introduction to life with you as parents." "The predictable result has been a decade of deep unhappiness over the fates of our grandchildren," Crews wrote. "If it wasn't for them, Mum and I would not be too concerned, as each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one cock-up to the next." Crews said he and his wife were sick and tired of listening to their children's complaint and failures. The children are 35, 38 and 40. The disgruntled dad wrote that he did not want to hear from his offspring again until they had good news. "I can now tell you that I for one, and I sense Mum feels the same, have had enough of being forced to live through the never-ending bad dream of our children's underachievement and domestic ineptitudes," he wrote. "I want to hear no more from any of you until, if you feel inclined, you have a success or an achievement or a REALISTIC plan for the support and happiness of your children to tell me about." His last sentence before signing the letter was, "I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed." The former commander has since told London's Telegraph that he does not regret sending the email, but fears it might have been misinterpreted. He paused before adding, "I haven't done well as a father, have I?" Emily Crews is reportedly the only child still speaking to her father after receiving the letter. |
2012.11.28 05:12
2012.11.28 09:58
Dear Rover,
This is good for you to put this on our page and for you to remind all of us what the reality more likely is.
This letter reminds me of what I was told some 30 years ago by one of my mentors when my children were growing up.
My mentor was about the same age of this man and had 5 adult sons and a bunch of grandchildren.
He said, " Hahn, do you know how you can tell whether you had succeeded in life or not.
All you have to do is to look at your grandchildren. If your heart tells you they are happy, then you made it,
otherwise, you have to accept the fact that you failed."
I didn't understand quite well at that time, but as I became a grandparent,
I thought I could understand what he was saying.
Basically that's what this old man realized and got upset and so disappointed when he saw how unhappy his grandchildren are and how uncertain their futures are in this terrible world.
I don't think his three adult children, including the oldest one, get it correctly.
My heart goes out for this old man.
Christmas stories are always warm, loving, and then emotionally satisfying.
To tell you the truth, our life are not running like the story at all.
When Christmas and Holidays come, in reality, there are more sad stories than wonderful ones.
We are constanly and shamelessly cheating ourselves out of the reality,
and then we go on as if everything has been good.
Then the same happens next year... on and on.
Here's a story that reflects the true reality of our life.
Let's face it and take care of it. Don't just go on as if it isn't there.
Say something about it.
Here, we have a brave father who has honestly expressed his feeling.
I admire his courage.
So, believe or not, I thought this qualifies as a Christmas story.
Is there anyone of us who might copy this letter and sent to your child
with a Christmas card?