logo

English
                 

Fun/Joke No nursing home for me.

2021.03.24 17:51

운영자 Views:2365

 

No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a MARRIOTT!

With the average cost for nursing home care being $275.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.


I've already checked on reservations at The FAIRFIELD:


For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $79.00 per night.


Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours
In the afternoon.


That leaves $196.00 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry,
gratuities and special TV movies.


Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer dryer, etc.


And most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.


$10 worth of tips a day and you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They'll treat you like a customer, not a patient.


There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up
(if you fake a decent limp).


To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.


For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you're at the airport, fly somewhere....
otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Marriott will take your reservation today!


And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Marriott to Marriott, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have COURTYARD there too.


TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem... They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Marriott has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . .
or the undertaker!


If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Marriott will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

And the grandkids can use the pool.


What more could you ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age,

I'll face it with a grin.

 


BUT.....AIDS WARNING!

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!


Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)

I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.
I love to see you smile.

No. Subject Date Author Last Update Views
Notice How to write your comments onto a webpage [2] 2016.07.06 운영자 2016.11.20 18192
Notice How to Upload Pictures in webpages 2016.07.06 운영자 2018.10.19 32341
Notice How to use Rich Text Editor [3] 2016.06.28 운영자 2018.10.19 5919
Notice How to Write a Webpage 2016.06.28 운영자 2020.12.23 43836
142 Trump, A Joke of the Day [4] 2020.06.30 운영자 2020.07.02 43308
141 Acrophobia in Action 2017.08.29 운영자 2017.08.29 19566
140 Herman Returns With A Smile (Cartoon) [2] 2021.02.14 운영자 2021.02.14 19211
139 US Healthcare: This explains all !! [3] 2017.03.23 운영자 2017.03.23 17303
138 [Joke] The Outdoors Man [5] 2012.11.18 이한중*65 2012.11.18 16312
137 The flop by United Airlines [1] 2017.04.12 운영자 2017.04.20 14412
136 이차대전 당시 독일 유보트 군가 (한국말 처럼 들리는....) 2011.04.10 계기식*72 2011.04.10 12508
135 [게임] 같은색 공 맞추기 2010.08.27 계기식*72 2010.08.27 10922
134 The last god father(예고편) 심형래작... 2010.11.28 계기식*72 2010.11.28 10644
133 Funny Dancing Dog [1] 2011.04.26 김영철*61 2011.04.26 10464
132 Dog show [2] 2010.01.20 계기식*72 2010.01.20 10079
131 동전과 관련된 마술 트릭 하나 공개 [1] 2010.08.20 계기식*72 2010.08.20 9893
130 옷 마술쇼 [1] 2010.12.08 계기식*72 2010.12.08 9870
129 마약을 먹으면 소가 이렇게 보인다. [1] 2010.12.14 계기식*72 2010.12.14 9850
128 “불행한 일이 거듭 겹침“의 사자성어는 ? " 2010.10.11 계기식*72 2010.10.11 9829
127 Measure your nerdiness or intelligence !! [3] 2010.08.05 Rover 2010.08.05 9796
126 世界各國 女性의 平均얼굴 [4] 2011.03.03 Rover 2011.03.03 9715
125 신기한 당구공 마술 [1] 2010.11.22 계기식*72 2010.11.22 9690
124 Start New Year with a smile [2] 2011.01.01 Rover 2011.01.01 9669
123 HMO Policy [1] 2009.10.27 YonnieC#65 2009.10.27 9595